Hey, Am I Doing This Right?—Ephesians 5:21-6:9

Russ Ramsey

John Stott said, “The Church’s head is the Church’s Bridegroom. He does not crush the Church. Rather, He sacrificed Himself to serve Her, in order that She might become everything He longs for Her to be, namely Herself in the fullness of Her glory.” And this is how we too are to love.

We look to these verses about loving, obeying and submitting for a host of reasons, and far be it from me to question your motives, but if you are anything like me, we can tend to look at these verses to “get it right,” justify our desires, and work the system—when their real point is to teach us to love well in the relationships God has us in.

But Stott makes a great point when he points out that the Bridegroom has as His motive the goal of presenting His Bride as holy, beautiful and as everything He adores—and He does this by laying down His own life for Her sake!!! These verses are not primarily a field manual for relationships. They are a love letter from the Bridegroom to His Bride.

Perhaps you are facing big changes in your life, in your relationships—in leaving the nest or preparing for marriage or packing to relocate when you graduate or whatever the circumstances might be. These verses are about relating to significant people in your life as Christ calls you to. This is foundational to any decision-making you face.

Paul is making a profoundly theological connection between the marriage relationship and the church’s relationship with Christ. Paul is saying, “Husband, if you want to love your wife well, remember the Gospel love Christ demonstrated to His bride, the Church, and imitate that.”

Look at the verb sequence in Verses 25-27, Jesus loved her, gave Himself for her, to make her Holy, having cleansed her, that He might present her to Himself in splendor. This sequence of love for the church is startling. It is selfless. It is with a purpose of bringing glory and splendor to His Bride. It is everything Christ has done for His bride—caring for Her with His own Body, laying it down for Her because of how He cherishes Her.