Every Believer Confident, Part 10
June 5, 2025 | by: Dale Thiele | 0 Comments
Posted in: Pastoral Encouragement
Gospel Conversations in Ongoing Relationships
This is a multi-part series interacting with Mark J. Farnham’s new book, Every Believer Confident: Apologetics for the Ordinary Christian. Farnham is the founder and director of Apologetics for the Church and professor of apologetics at Lancaster Bible College and Capital Seminary. He states, “The purpose of this book is to help you to know, appreciate, firmly grasp, proclaim, and defend the Christian faith. My ultimate goal is to strengthen your faith, so you can confidently and effectively persuade unbelievers to believe in Jesus Christ” (p. 16). Let’s dig into the book together and see how our faith might be strengthened.
As Mark Farnham wraps up this practical book on apologetics, he concludes by applying the principles to long-term relationships with unbelievers. In the abstract, the apologetic method Farnham has outlined in this book directly applies to spontaneous conversations that we might strike up with unbelievers we just meet. In reality, however, most of us are thinking of unbelievers with whom we have an ongoing relationship: a family member, a neighbor, a friend, or coworker. What does an apologetic conversation look like with someone we know? Farnham gives some practical guidance for these kinds of conversations.
First, Farnham reminds us that “salvation is a work of the Holy Spirit” (p. 168). He touched on this in chapter 3 of his book, The Power of Apologetics. While it is the work of the Spirit to move in the hearts of unbelievers to lead them to repentance and faith, God delights to use us in the process. The relationships we have with unbelievers are gospel opportunities. Let’s be praying for these unbelievers that God has placed in our lives. Farnham says, “We should pray! Long-term, fervent, directed prayer for unbelievers is the best way for us to channel our angst into productive activity…I’ve noticed that when I allow weeks to go by without praying for my friends, I begin to lose my sense of urgency over speaking with them about Christ” (p. 172).
Second, Farnham encourages us to balance urgency with patience. There is a certain truth that this moment might be the last time we see someone. But we also need to trust in the Spirit’s work in someone’s heart. Farnham says, “The seed of the gospel that you planted in a conversation with someone may need time to take root before they are willing to seriously consider it” (p. 170). He would encourage us to share the gospel when opportunity arises in the relationship, but we should not feel compelled to directly share the gospel every time we are with them. Our patience in the relationship also gives opportunity for the unbeliever to “see what kind of person you are before they take your words seriously. They may want to see if you are a loyal friend who cares or are merely someone who’s trying to ‘make a sale’ for Jesus” (p. 171).
Third, Farnham says we need to be vigilant for opportunities to share the gospel. “Rather than directly contemplating questions of personal sin and salvation, most people wrestle with worldview questions that relate to core elements of the gospel…modern values can be used to point people to Christ and the Christian faith as the source of truth” (p. 173). We should be watchful for moments when an unbeliever may express “dismay over the state of the world or disgust with their lack of self-control” (p. 174). These can be gateways for affirming the truth of the gospel.
Fourth, while avoiding slogans, we should give real answers to questions and concerns. Trite, “Jesus” statements do not help an unbeliever comprehend the significance of the gospel. We should not be afraid to give real answers to honest struggles.
Fifth and last, Farnham suggests we should move conversations from specific situations to universal truths. An unbelieving friend might be facing a specific hardship or wrestling with a particular situation that is unsettling. The larger truths of the gospel (e.g. God’s creation of the world, man created in the image of God, the effects of the Fall on humanity, the only hope of redemption found in Christ, etc.) can help explain these specific situations that normal people face every day.
This concludes our review of Mark Farnham’s Every Believer Confident: Apologetics for the Ordinary Christian. The aim of the book, and our time in reviewing the material, has been to equip us for apologetic conversations with unbelievers. I pray that we would feel the sense of urgency in sharing the gospel with those who do not know Jesus, while, at the same time, feel a sense of peace in God’s work through us in sharing the gospel. I am praying for you, and I look forward to hearing stories of God using you to share the good news of Jesus with others.
